My steps

I remembered the time when I chose SMA Negeri 5 Cimahi became my school, for approximately July, 2006. I didn’t know about my feeling at that time, sad or happy. I do mean to say that in this particular instance it was the best thing for me on a day and date which I need not trouble myself to repeat, inasmuch as it can be of no possible consequence to listen of my heart. Perhaps, my heart was sad because actually SMA Negeri 5 Cimahi wasn’t my favorite school at all.

I didn’t want to do something. I wanted to rest, just to set my mind and my heart at rest until I realized that she wasn’t me and I had to lick wounds. I had to move on and left all the things behind.

I knew that it was the fate although every time I felt like I cannot go on, I felt so lost, and all I saw was night and darkness all around but I knew that Allah is always by my side. Insya Allah I will find my way. Yes, don’t despair and never loose hope because He is never far away from me.

Finally, I studied there and also planned that I wanted to move in the next semester in other school. But, Allah wanted me stayed for a while because I got the first rank there and it was the good steps to stake out my next life. I felt that the life was beginning. 

I believed that everyone on this earth has ability to lead and inspire, so did I and I had to move on. My life was filled with many dreams. I listed my dreams in order to the truth will out. I knew sometimes my work felt small and insignificant,but remembered a small ripple can gain momentum. Beside, many laughed at me, but so what? Keep forward. I promised.

When I wanted to get the first rank, Allah gave it until I graduated from my high school. From the first grade until third grade I always got the first rank, although when the second semester of my third grade I got the third rank of my class, and even Allah permitted me became the best in my high school until I got many scholarships. Whereas, all happened because the disaffection of me but I can get it because I thought that I had to get out of the stands, get on of the court because I knew that “what you think, what is you become”. I just had to dream big, feel it, achieve it and whatever “your dreams are, go for it” and you will inspire people. I believe it.

I also remembered when I used a veil for the first time, Allah guided me so much because there were a lot of stories that made me decided to use a veil. Although I just said it in my heart that I wanted to use a veil, but Allah heard it and gave me a chance when I was Senior High School. Perhaps Allah didn't give all that we wanted, but He gave all that we needed, so did I. :)

Again, Allah showed that He was near from me. I wanted to give my school something of me, and Allah gave it. I love biology so much, reading and also writing. Although I can't follow biology's olympiad of my city ,but I follow many competitions of English, Physics, and also writings. Perhaps, I can't give something from physics to my school, but I can give a lot from english and also writings. Allah permitted me followed many competitions until province and I knew that I may success with other blow :)

Don't ever give up because my motto to take my dreams, and also biology. It was hard for me to forget about biology, and I wanted to study in microbiology ITB, but Allah wanted me to study in english departement, faculty of letters, university of padjadjaran. I always thank to Allah whatever His fate for me.

I wanted to laugh when I remembered about unforgettable moments that happened when I was in senior high school. Started with my disaffection until it grew up became happiness. Started from small dreams until it became a big dream. The story about love and friendship also colored my life. It colored with happiness, sadness, storm and stress, loving, abhorence, and selfish self. I always enjoyed it and I never stop to dream because this is what I am and what are you? :)